you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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