i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
