Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
