im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
