Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
