So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He better not be in your backpack
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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