You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
