I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
