Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
