I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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