What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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