I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
50% drunk capacity currently
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
