What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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