flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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