I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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