singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
