Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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