You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
