so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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