oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize