Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
