Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
