You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
