You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
