my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
