I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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