I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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