you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
