How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize