marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
