I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So much Jack, so little girl.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
