I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
