im drinking this country out of the recession.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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