When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
