We won't sleep together?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
