i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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