He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
How external is "for external use only"?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
