He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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