I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
