exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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