I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
