if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
