You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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