The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
