they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
