we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
