They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
