I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
