I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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