Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
