What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
