He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
