I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I pour the whiskey from now on
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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