is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
