I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
