As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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