It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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