P.S. I can't hear my feet
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
