i permit you to call me
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize