he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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