I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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