I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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